Airplane Confessions #2: In flight to Ireland

I don’t even know how to feel really.

All my life I have dreamed of Ireland. I can’t pinpoint exactly how or why it started. My fathers lineage is Scottish so that’s not it. My mother is German and English. Theres just something about it that has always drawn me to Ireland. Most likely the music? Maybe the folklore? The green? The coastline? The sheep? Who knows…. it’s just a fact. I usually have HUGE expectations of my life and my experiences, but this place… I am 100% content just to be there. I honestly don’t care if we do nothing other than sit on a bench and soak it in. I just need to know I’m present.

I have this inability to feel things until they are undeniably upon me. I knew I was coming here for a couple of months. Yesterday I knew that I would be landing in Dublin today and I just would not allow myself to feel it. I think 32 years of anticipating and dreaming and wishing for this moment just was to much to bear the night before. One tell tale sign though is that I couldn’t sleep. I just tossed and turned all night in our hostel in Bergen.

Today we had a layover in London and walked around the city, seeing yet another place that only existed in my mind for me so so so many years. While I was super stoked and loved literally every moment (except that moment when I really needed coffee and food). Still, heading back to the airport though knowing that this train was taking me to the airport that would take me to the plane that would take me to Ireland… it was too much in a good way.

I think the moment it hit me manifested in an odd way when I nearly lost it with fear in the plane. Its been a while since Ive had a full blown panic attack with flying and its also been a lot of hours since I had my anti-anxiety pill this morning before we flew to London. Whatever it was, I started crying, my heart started racing, i couldn’t catch my breath… and the last thing I wanted in the world was for anyone to notice. You know. I grabbed Dan’s knee, got out the only world I could muster, “Whisky,” and he took care of the rest.

As I fly over the Irish Sea, Im wondering if all those emotions, tiredness, and overwhelm of the significance of the moment that is to come in less than an hour: me…. in Ireland. Im so so thankful for the fact that it’s about to happen, after such a long time dreaming of it. I do my best to see and be in this charmed life I am living, appreciating everything I can possibly acknowledge. I know this is a blessing and I am truly overwhelmingly grateful for it.

Im going to choose to be as boldly myself… in this moment. Embracing the overwhelm… the happy… the unsure feeling that comes when that long far away thoughts and ideas of Ireland finally will be gone. For some reason I was never willing to give myself this gift. Finally though, finally I did. This is that moment, caught in time, up in the air, between a little girls dreams and a woman living them out. Its a lot to feel eh?

Funny how a little flight to an island can do that. Now to gaze out the window and watch those dreams become real life moments that I can touch, feel, taste, and breathe in.

flight to ireland

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Life Lately List: April 20, 2016

Woah guys… this one is sure making it under the wire eh? Ill tell you about our March in this post and well chat about April in next month’s installment ok?

March was a travel month for us, since we were gone 19 out of 31 days! I do plan on a blog post for you with all the travel stories but here is a breakdown of what happened:

  • At the beginning of March, we had some of our closest friends, James and Lauren and their little toddler Robin, visit us at the trailer. There were our first guests here post-major renovation. There were still some things left to do but still. It felts really good to have them here.
  • Next we flew up to Boston for our first wedding and first engagement session of 2016! It was a really short trip and also last minute since the wedding folks planned their wedding in just three months. Check it out here: John and Michaels Cambridge Wedding. The engagement session was for another fun couple and it is here: Sabrina and Steve!
  • We came back to the beach to recoup and also to process the wedding. We also celebrated our 8 year anniversary. Woah you guys. Eight YEARS?? I cant even. Then it was off to Colorado for Meg and Nate’s Engagement session!
  • Once we hugged them goodbye, Dan suggested an impromptu trip to the Grand Canyon, which was quite the adventure. Immediately following we went through a terrifying experience with a closed down Denver airport and a wedding to get to in Rhode Island. Not cool snowstorm… not cool.
  • We made it to Rhode Island with a day to spare so we went up to Maine to house shop for a couple of hours. Finding nothing, we headed back to Providence for the wedding the next day. That one is coming to the blog next week yall!
  • After the wedding, we then hopped a plane to Dallas TX, to spend a week in Austin leading up to a Rehearsal Dinner, a Wedding, and an Engagement Session.

THAT was our March. Whew!

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Behind the Scenes 2015

And now for the funny! Here is the behind the scenes from everything of 2015. We are truly goobers. Here’s proof ya’ll.
Sara and Dave Wedding Behind the Scenes 1113 Val and Alex Behind the Scenes 0007 Sara and Dave Wedding Behind the Scenes 1108 Sara and Dave Wedding Behind the Scenes 1112 Sara and Dave Wedding Behind the Scenes 1107 Olivia and Chandler Behind the Scenes0515 Sara and Dave Wedding Behind the Scenes 1110 Olivia and Chandler Behind the Scenes0514 Noelle and Billy 0127 Nji and Russell Behind the Scenes 003 Nick and Devon 0742 Olivia and Chandler Behind the Scenes0516 Nick and Devon 0722 Meredith Gray and Eric In Love 0182 Meredith Gray and Eric Wedding 0655 Meredith Gray and Eric In Love 0181 Meghan and Devin Behind the Scenes 07 Marie and Mike Wedding 1194 Lex and Rodney 0558 Lex and Rodney 0853 behind the scenes LaURA AND MARk Behind the Scenes 0005 LaURA AND MARk Behind the Scenes 0002 Katie and Luke Wedding Behind the Scenes 8297 Katie and Luke Wedding Behind the Scenes 8285 Katie and Luke Wedding Behind the Scenes 8291 Gretchen and Kaleigh 0097 Danielle and Josh Behind the Scenes 0851 Danielle and Josh Behind the Scenes 0846 DAC_6477 DAC_4430 BRC_1387 Bevin and Thom Behind the Scenes 1004 Bevin and Thom Behind the Scenes 1002 Behind the Scnes Aimee and Mitchell 0016 Behind the Scnes Aimee and Mitchell 0009 Behind the Scnes Aimee and Mitchell 0008 Behind the Scnes Aimee and Mitchell 0004 Annie and Josh BTS0018 Amy and Dan Behind the Scenes 0008 Annie and Josh BTS0005 Annie and Josh BTS0003 Amy and Dan Behind the Scenes 0001Bevin and Thom Behind the Scenes 1007

Airplane Confessions #1

New blog series! I realized I love to write when I’m on a plane so here is something I wrote Saturday in the air. There will be more as we travel more:

Im sitting on a plane, about to begin our descent into Denver and Ive been thinking about being real… being vulnerable… and what does that actually mean nowadays. Those are definitely buzzword phrases right? I mean vulnerability and Brene Brown’s Ted Talks resonated with me so much that I watched them over and over again until they were a part of my mind. I still pop in every once and a while and re-watch, just to remind myself what the word “vulnerability” actually means, and not think of it as the empty shell word its kind of starting to become nowadays conversationally.

To me… real vulnerability is showing that imperfect side of myself.. the side that we are supposed to kind of keep to ourselves and our spouses. Its really easy in todays world to just edit edit edit down until what we have left is an image of ourselves that we have pruned down to the cleanest most uninteresting angle.

So in that spirit… here are some super current vulnerability points Ive got on my plate for the next week or so:

I am really really afraid of flying and we have THIS flight I’m on right now, then on to Rhode Island, then one to Texas, then one back to Raleigh. Three or four years ago it would really be no big deal but this fear of flying thing kinda hit me like a brick wall and I think about it weeks leading up to the trip and sometimes longer. Ive got a Xanex in me right now, which helps but feels like a fail to me somehow? A failure to “work through it” “overcome” “be brave” and all that garbage. Well… it also feels like a win too. Thats because I just saw this problem I was having, realized that there are a lot of other things I am working on with myself and dealing with the whole fear of flying thing and digging deep to eliminate that was just not what I wanted to do at the moment so… Xanex.

I always have at least one or two blemishes on my face literally all the time and it drives me nuts. Mostly because I don’t really like wearing makeup but I also don’t like seeing those… imperfections. Fitting for the topic eh?

Im about to meet two clients for the first time who booked us LONG in advance and we are staying in a cabin with them in the mountains in Colorado and Im scared they won’t like us and they will think they made a huge mistake in booking us. (Update: Amazing time and we are good. I just wanted you to know that we all feel like this sometimes.)

Im really feeling complicated about how un-vulnerable I am… and how vulnerable I want my clients to be with us. Not fair. At all.

I love you guys. Thanks for reading along and I hope this little snippet into my mind right at the moment made you feel a little better about your own behind the scenes.

<3 Bethany

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Life Lately List: March 3, 2016

Happy March you guys!!! I feel like this winter is FLYING by. Its been really mild here in the Outer Banks and we have been really getting things done here at the trailer. I think we are only a few weeks away from it really being finished. The crazy part is that other than a few larger tasks, we are actually at the decorating part! I ordered a lot of family photos at our printer today to make the place more personal. It’s kinda crazy how long Ive waited for this stage of the process. So so fun.

Other than working on the trailer like crazies this past month here are a few other things that happened:

  • We went to Raleigh and got to hang out with my Sister and Brother-In-Law. I love when I get to see them, which is oddly not that often since they are uber busy working at The Escapist. <— cool eh?
  • We booked tickets to NORWAY for three weeks. Yes. Know anyone who wants photos in those parts?
  • My parents had to put on of our childhood pets to sleep. Love and miss you Jenkins. You were so sweet. <3
  • Speaking of four legged family members, Hattie killed it with cuteness all month. Is it possible to love her more and more every single second?
  • We’ve been going to the YMCA here consistantly, trying to get fit. One of the ways is swimming! Its been a long time since High School Swim team and I have a lot of relearning to do but its been fun.
  • My grandpa had heart surgery, which was terrifying to think about BUT everything went smoothly. Its amazing what modern medicine can do. Truly.

Heres to MARCH!

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