A few weeks ago, I went to see Titanic in the¬†theater¬†again. Good LORD I love that movie. I was at the perfect age when that masterpiece came out: a 14 year old girl, wide eyed, in love with Leo, and¬†imagining¬†myself to one day be as beautiful as Rose. I went with a friend of mine, and fellow Titanic lover. We both left, having wept for three hours. It was a good time.
Now the reason I am telling you this is because I had a revelation right at the end of the movie.When Rose falls asleep and the camera pans over all the frames of photos showing all the amazing things that she did in her life, she dies and goes to “heaven”, (I hope I’m not spoiling anything for you BTW). She enters the grand staircase and all the passengers are there to welcome her as she walks through the room. At the top of the stairs near Jack stands waiting for her. Cue hysterical weeping by me.
Now I know that this¬†isn’t¬†necessarily¬†what the Bible does or does not say about heaven. I am not making a theological statement here. Check yourself before you get your panties in a bunch with this one ok? Im just speculating. It isn’t¬†straightforward¬†in the “good book” anyways.¬†
What if that is what heaven is like? What if when you die, you get to go back to a place in your life when you were the happiest and with the people you love the most. What if heaven takes you back to your best years? Now after Rose lived, what looked like a very full life, this was the moment that heaven took her to. So what would my moment be? Where would I return to in my life?¬†¬†Now bear with me since this could be viewed as morbid. It’s not. It was comforting to me.
I realized that I would return to this moment. These days. This place. With this man. With these challenges. With these dreams. Right now….
Now this doesn’t mean that there is no where more to go in life since this is the best so far. Our house isn’t perfect. I don’t live exactly where I want to live. ¬†I don’t weigh exactly what I want to weigh. We don’t have kids yet. I have never been to Ireland. We are far away from our¬†families. I haven’t learned how to surf yet. Etc. Etc. Etc.
The point I’m making is that even though I want so much more and we have so much further to go, I know that right now is real life. Right now is what our marriage is. Right now is home. Right now is what I have, and I am so thankful for it.
I would walk over the dunes, hear the ocean and smell the salt air. I would see my family and my friends sitting on the beach, spending time together. Next I would see my brother and Dan’s father. Lastly, I would see my sweet husband Dan, with Hattie on her leash, waiting for me. We would hug, laugh, and start dreaming.
I would go to heaven here and Dan would be waiting at the top of the staircase for me.